Bad experience this morning. there was a you-know-what in my bedroom. I didn't have anything to kill it with but I had to. So i did it with kleenex for the first time. I used literally half the box of kleenex, but i did it. it was bad. i panicked. I'm still jumpy. I don't know if i'll be able to sleep tonight. This is jumpy and bad and icky.

Randomness from the first 24 hours of my trip:

- There are so many cows along the 401 corridor! It's so funny! And in some fields, every cow has a baby, so they're walking around in these matching big+little pairs. MOOOOO!!!!!
- VIA 1 is very cool. In my 4 hour ride, they offered me 2 rounds of salty snacks, 2 rounds of alcoholic beverages, 2 rounds of water, and a 3 course dinner with wine and coffee. Plus comfy seats with lots of legroom, free coffee or water or pop and newspapers in this cool comfy lounge beforehand (no standing in line), and men in suits to help you with your luggage.
- VIA 1 attendants are like snooty butlers. But replace the English accent with a French accent (but with flawless English).
- My hotel is also very cool. My suite is almost as big as my aparment, has separate bedrooms and living rooms, and a kitchen that's fully stocked with kitchen tools! Very cool! I'll mention the name when I'm not longer physically here.
- Neither of my local depanneurs sells frozen instant dinners! WTF kind of depanneur is that? They both have beer and wine, but I can't find any frozen instant dinners, instant noodles, or salad in a bag. What am I supposed to do for convenience food?
- I was exposed to so little Quebec French at school! I had French French, Franco-Ontarien French, African French, Acadian French, but I never quite picked up on joual, so now I'm having trouble understanding some of the people around me.
- I went to Subway to get a sandwich. I ordered in French (because, after all, this is Quebec). The lady behind me ordered in obviously anglophone English. I mentally noted that I can order in English at this place, and proceeded to pay. The cashier speaks to me in English. I assume it's because of my accent, so I pay and collect my food. As I walk off, I hear the cashier speak to the woman behind me in French. WTF? Is this the Opposite Cashier?

This is sociolinguistic research, so I'd like everyone to comment please.

When I get out of the shower, I put on a white terrycloth garment that has long sleeves, goes down to my ankles, wraps around my body and ties closed around the waist. This sort of garment is a key part of your wardrobe in student res because it's the only decent thing for walking to the shower in. A stereotypical hausfrau wears this thing with curlers and slippers as she drinks her morning coffee, and sometimes they provide them in hotel rooms (and sometimes people steal them).

Please post in the comments with a) what you would call this garment, and b) your geographical location, if I don't know it already. For the anonymous lurkers, your name isn't necessary.

In my neighbourhood pet store, there are these tiny little bunnies that they call micro-bunnies. Apparently they're full-grown at 4 pounds. They're so cute! I want one! I don't know if micro-bunny is the actual name of these rabbits, because a Google search returns mostly a band. They're so adorable though! If you're ever in my neighbourhood, go to the pet store in the mall and take a look!

I have a mission for anyone who will be in Toronto while I'm away: keep an eye on the ads in the TTC and find out if they'll be doing a weekly pass during the last full week in June. It would be really useful for me if they did.

Why is the Statue of Liberty called the Statue of Liberty? I mean, why is the word Statue in there? We know it's a statue, we can see it's a statue. But if you referred to it as Liberty, even if the context was perfectly clear, people would look at you funny. Is there any other statue that's actually named "The Statue of [something]."? Some statues are called "Monument" or "Memorial", but I can't think of any that are regularly refered to with Statue in the name.

I was just reading a friend's LJ. This friend inexplicably went on hiatus 2 months ago, and is now back sans explanation. What I learned from this is it's REALLY ANNOYING when someone goes on hiatus and comes back sans explanation. So here's what happened over the last 6 months. It's intentionally oblique, so if you don't fully understand that's probably on purpose.

I stopped blogging because I had foolishly written something that got someone else in trouble. I stopped writing because I figured I had to lay low for a while, and I nuked the blog because that was the only way to destroy the evidence. The blog looked upgefukt for months because that's what a blog with zero content looks like, and at that point in history you couldn't delete a blog.

I finished classes at the beginning of April and moved out of res into my very own apartment. It's a nice, clean, tiny place in one of my favourite Toronto neighbourhoods. Rent is atrociously expensive by most standards but not too bad by Toronto standards. That's all I'll say here, but if you want to know more (for legit reasons, like if you're in the market for a Toronto apartment yourself) I'll entertain questions privately.

At the end of April, I finished my exams and my previous job ended. I was lucky enough to be promptly offered a new job that has reasonable pay and benefits and excellent security. I leave for training next week and then start work 2 weeks after that, so for the month of May I've basically been on vacation. but I'm working in the field my degree is in, and I'm working with the organization that I interned with, but I can't say anything more.

That isn't to say that this all came easily - the apartment company didn't want to give me the apartment because they work on a strict 1/3 rule, so my apartment is technically in my father's name until I start work, although I'm paying for everything. I'm not proud of having done that and I hope I never have to resort to that again, but it did save me moving back under my parents' roof and then trying to apartment-hunt and job-hunt long-distance.

The job situation didn't come easily either. I had been informed that no appropriate positions existed for me in Toronto with this organization, so I was job-hunting outside my academic field (in the field that I paid my way through university in). In between my final shifts with my previous employer and finishing off exams and final projects, I had been going through the purgatory of agencies and interview, with interviewers who would take phone calls during the interview or accuse me of being over-educated because I have a BA or act as though there's something wrong with me because I wasn't being instantly promoted with my former employer (even when I explained the economics of work-study and the fact that there were more grads than total 2nd-level positions and, at that point, no one was leaving any higher positions anyway). Then one day I received a phone call offering me this position that I've accepted, so I was very relieved when that happened.

Hope this clears things up.

Why isn't anyone questioning George W. Bush's qualifications to be a peacemaker in the middle east?

Why isn't anyone asking where Saddam Hussein is?

Get on it, liberal media!

I need book recommendations! By the time I get back from my trip I'll be through my big list of library books (except for a few titles where I'm approxmiately #2000 in the hold queue so I'll have to wait a few more months), so I'd appreciate any titles you (yes you personally, the person reading this) have enjoyed.

I also need good black eyeliner recommendations, but that's neither here nor there.

Yonge&Bloor station, Yonge line, northbound platform, near the DWA. There's this light on the wall. It's one of those square lights that you often see on the outside walls of schools with an orange halogen bulb. This light was indoors, on a subway platform. It was glowing red. I was looking at it, wondering why there's a red light on the subway platform. Then it turns white and starts blinking. I'm increasingly curious, but the train I'm in starts moving and that's all I see of this light. I wonder what it's for?

The Star is asking reader's what they would have done in Hillary Rodham Clinton's position.

That's an interesting question. I don't know what I would have done, but in this case it's much more complicated than that sort of situation would normally be. Every marriage is different, and every cuckolded spouse has a different blend of mixed feelings. But in this case, Mrs. Clinton not only had to consider the elements of her marriage, but also the political implications. On one hand, someone in that position might well want to ruin her husband's career. On the other hand, she did support her husband's politics, and certainly didn't want to give the right wing a reason to come into power.

I have no idea what I would have done in that position, but I don't envy her.

WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?????

I didn't sleep at all last night, I napped only for a couple of hours this afternoon, I had alcohol and tranquillith� before bed, I was in bed around 1:30 maybe, read for a bit and then turned off the light (establishing routine and all that) and the closed my eyes and relaxed my mind. I lay there for at least 2 hours, and no sleep! I need to sleep. My eyes are tired, my face is puffy with exhaustion, and I feel just inches away from coming down with a cold. I'm doing everything right, but I can't fall asleep and I don't know why!

It seems like the only time I ever do fall asleep is when I convince myself that it's almost morning anyway, so I may as well just lie down for a minute and wait for morning. But this is not good. Next week I have to be on a normal 9-5 type schedule, and here I am sitting up awake until sunrise!

I'm hoping that after a couple of days of sleepwalking through a normal schedule, I'll just come home one evening, collapse exhausted, and wake up the next morning. But this didn't work last summer; that might have been because of the heat, but what if it wasn't? What if I'm doomed the rest of my life to be stumbling through the five-day work week on lack of sleep, trying not to nod off in my office, then sleeping through my weekends?

So my staying awake all day plan didn't work out too well. I'd managed to finish all my errands before noon, so I had a nap in the afternoon, but I think I'll still be able to fall asleep at night tonight.

I'm still so nervous about travelling and work. I hate situations where I don't know what's going to happen! Logically I know that I just have to show up and someone will take me in hand and everything will be okay, and even if I mess up a bit it will be forgiven because they've already put so much time and effort into me. But I just can't not be nervous! Do you outgrow this or will I be like this forever?

I just found out that my local post office is located where Montgomery's Tavern (where the barfight that was Canada's only civil war happened) used to stand. What an odd coincidence. I live just 2 blocks away from Montgomery's Tavern, and I used to go to middle school right under the cliffs where Mackenzie's Cave was hidden.

Oh, and this is from a couple days ago so I no longer have the link, but I'm mentioning it because people should be aware of the kind of people who are running the province:

Ernie Eves said that he was going to outlaw teachers' working to rule. Yes, you heard me right, he intends to make work-to-rule illegal.

Don't try to logic it out or your brain might explode. But really, I'd like to see him try. As a connoisseur (connoisseuse?) of linguistic manipulation, I have a certain appreciation for the ingenuity it would take to legislate the impossible.

Five AM, can't sleep, so I'm staring at a CRT until my eyes get tired. Was just lurking around some websites that I used to frequent. My, how they've changed! The first site I was ever a regular on had under 50 non-lurkers. It was a friendly, tight-knit group, very cliquey but welcoming to anyone who demonstrated a modicum of intelligence. The web was much smaller and somewhat more obscure then so there was a certain mutual noblesse oblige. I remember when, due to a temporary security issue, the email address of someone who is considered a major celebrity by this group was leaked. Several people, including me, found this celebrity's email address. Some people guarded it as a secret and didn't do anything with it, others used it to inform the person in question about the security problem. No one harrassed this person, and they felt secure enough that I understand they still use this address today. Then I look at that community as it is now, overpopulated, full of teenyboppers who don't know how to use Google, and I shudder to think what might happen if a similar leak happened now.

Sometimes I think it would be cool to track down members of the old guard of some of my former online haunts, get everyone to visit the site at once, and temporarily take over the messageboard. We'd have cool discussions, wow the current regulars, and gently push all the OMG WTF LOLOLOLOL messages down to the bottom of the board and into oblivion.

Alas, I know this wouldn't work. They outnumber us now, they'd probably just freak out and ban us, then go back to LOL OMG!

Random memory: In grade 4, one of my classmates was walking around with an inflated condom for some reason. Now I wasn't entirely sure what a condom was or what it was for. I could identify the word "condom" with a wrapped condom, I could vaguely associate "condom" with "gay" (I didn't fully understand what "gay" meant either), but I didn't know what a condom was actually for, nor had I ever seen one up close.

So anyway, this guy had an inflated condom. Someone announced "Mike has a condom!" I looked over at Mike, looked what he was holding, and thought "That isn't a condom! That looks like a balloon or a medical device of some sort. A condom is a little plastic square!"

June. It's June. The panic all comes rushing out. I'm leaving in a week. I have to get stuff organized. I have to pack. My EI claim is still in limbo. I'm going away for TWO WHOLE WEEKS - 2 weeks I can't be in my beautiful apartment living my life of leisure! I need office clothes! I need contingency plans! I need to remember how to speak French! I need to show up at some address in a city I haven't been to in years and present myself and I have no idea what's going to happen next!

Then after that's over, I have to run to catch a train and come home and fall into bed and wake up and go to my graduation. Robes! High heels! Outdoors rain or shine! Former classmates and colleagues and profs! Relatives! Loved ones! Relatives meeting loved ones! A very distinguished guest! I've never been to a graduation before!

Then one day of rest, which will doubtless be full of nerves and laundry, and then WORK! Offices! Professional skills that I haven't used in months! Bilingualism! Forty hour weeks! Grownup clothes! Waking up in the morning and getting pretty and catching the subway! What do I do my first day? Walk in and sit down and wait for them to give me work, or check in with someone, or what? And what on earth do I do about a pending EI claim that has not yet been resolved when I'm employed? Angst angst angst!

Jimmy (who, incidently, is now famous if you can read French), has a blog!