Tuesday, December 30, 2008

This song will not leave my head


Move Along - The All-American Rejects

Things They Should Invent (incompetent linguist edition)

1. Google should publicly post how many pages they have indexed in each language. I'm sure some computer somewhere has this information because in non-English versions of Google you get the option to search only pages that are written in the interface language. It would help in cases where I'm trying to figure out if something is idiomatic. For example, the other day I was trying to figure out if a certain word is in fact a real word in a relatively small language that I can't speak or read. I googled the word, and got maybe a hundred hits. That seems low, but it is a small language and not the most common of words. What I really wanted to know is whether a hundred hits in the other language was proportionate to the number of hits I'd get for the equivalent English word in English. If the ratio of hits in each language was close to the ratio of total pages indexed in each language, then it's likely it was a real word.

2. HowDoYouPronounceThisWord.com You post a word, people reply with an audio file of its pronunciation. They could have some kind of functionality to make it super-easy to upload an audio file - you simply press "record" on the interface rather than having to save and upload your own file, for example. And, of course, there would need to be some kind of screening and moderation to prevent it from degenerating into Yahoo Answers.

The biggest dog I've ever seen

Giant cow dog!

(I don't know the story, I have no further context, I was just sent the picture.)

How to eliminate all but the most medically necessary late-term abortions

I know, this is a boring topic, but I'm just gonna do this one real quick post with a practical solution to a specific problem that has only recently come to my attention, and then on to more interesting things. They're going through the motions of dropping it, so I'll do the same.

In reading the comment pages lately (I know, I know), I'm surprised at how many people are concerned specifically about late-term abortion. I always thought it was more of an "abortions for all" vs. "abortions for none" dichotemy, but it seems for some people it makes a lot of difference how far along the gestation is.

Strange issue that never occurred to me, but luckily I have a solution that will reduce late-term abortion specifically:

Make timely abortion easily accessible to everyone.

If you can just get on the bus one day at your convenience, go down to the local abortion clinic, get your abortion, and take the bus back home where you can recover quietly, you're going to get it within a week of peeing on the stick, possibly the same day. However, if you have to plan out-of-town (out-of-province? out-of-country?) travel, scrounge together a bunch of money, take a day off work and lose a day's pay in the process, find a sitter, convince someone to come with you because you can't drive yourself home after an abortion and the only way to get to the clinic is by car, and/or ditch your overprotective parents and find someplace to crash out of their sight while you recover, that will seriously hinder your ability to get it done in the first trimester.

So if, for whatever reason, the idea of late-term abortion bothers you, the thing to do is lobby for increased access for everyone. That will eliminate late-term abortion in all cases except those upredictable ones where the fetus just goes kerflooey (or whatever it is happens - I'm not up on the third trimester) and has to be removed.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Things They Should Invent: curling irons with switchable barrels

If you want to volumize, you need a large-barrelled curling iron. If you want tight curls or a little nest of curls at the top of your updo or those little accent ringlets, you need a small-barrelled curling iron.

But the same people often want both, either in the same intricate hairdo, or in different simpler hairdos that they have in their repertoire. So you have to own multiple curling irons.

Why not make one curling iron where you can switch out the barrels as needed?

The other reason why I don't want to reopen the abortion debate

Some MP wants to reopen the abortion debate. Here's the other reason why I don't want this to happen, apart from all the usual reasons:

Actually, that really says it all, doesn't it? "All the usual reasons." We've been through this before. They'd been through it all before I was even born, and we've been going over the same material over and over my whole life. There's nothing new, there's nothing innovative, there's nothing that hasn't been said before I was born, it's boring!

There are plenty of other exciting things going on politically. We're facing the biggest economic crisis most of us have ever seen. Such sacred cows of our capitalist system as investment in stocks and real estate are proving to have feet of clay, if that isn't too mixed a metaphor. Both our manufacturing base and our social safety net desperately need to be either rebuilt or completely revamped. Meanwhile, we might have a coalition government for the first time in most of our lives. The constitutional role of the Governor General is in the spotlight, as are the pros and cons of proportional representation. We have a governing party whose favourite method is ad hominem attacks, and a new opposition leader whose most attackable past public statements happen to be things that the leader of the governing party is likely to agree with. We might have deflation for the first time I've ever heard of, which regardless of how often economists say it's a bad thing sounds pretty tempting to me (have you seen gas prices lately?). Meanwhile, the US seems to be moving to the left while our country seems to be moving to the right, which calls into questions all kinds of core assumptions, but we might be in a stronger position economically (that seems to be the opinion of domestic media, I haven't corrobrated with international media). The local condo (I just typed "condom") market is apparently poised to crash any minute. There are a bevy of new environmental initiatives out there, some brilliant and some ridiculous.

And these guys just want to keep flogging a dead horse?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

March of the Penguins drinking game

Every time a penguin falls down, take a drink.

(Yes, Poodle, this means I completely disregarded your advice. I take full responsibility.)

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Powdering one's nose

"I have to go powder my nose" is a conventional euphemism for "I have to go to the bathroom."

But does anyone actually powder their nose as their primary make-up touch-up?

Personally, if I'm going to powder anything, it's going to be my forehead. I might do my nose, but my forehead gets shiny way sooner and if anything needs a touch-up it's either that or the lipstick.

Do other people's noses get shiny first?

Half-formed analogy

This one's not perfectly formed yet, but I think it might be productive so I'm posting it.

Yesterday I was kind of drained from all the xmas, plus my muscles were achy and I didn't have much of an appetite. So I spent the day alone with no interpersonal contact whatsoever, ate ridiculously little food, and went to bed way early to sleep myself better.

No one would ever dispute that it was entirely my right to spend the day that way.

However, I'm sure everyone would agree that I in no way have the right to make other people spend the day without human contact, eat no more than half a meal during the entire day, and go to bed way earlier than they usually do. It would also be exceeding my authority if I were to pressure other people into implying that they were going to spend the day this way, or set up situations where their presence or not-rocking-the-boat would imply that they were planning to spend the day this way and they'd have to make a Big Hairy Deal to ensure that people don't interpret their actions that way.

Some people say that atheists are trying to stop xians from enjoying xmas, but that's not what we're doing. We just don't want to do xmas ourselves, and don't appreciate our actions or quiet cooperation being considered part of xmas.

You don't care that I spent my day like I did, but you probably wouldn't want to spend your day the same way. You'd probably also be a little irked if every time in the two months before boxing day, if you walk past the store without buying food, people assume that this means you plan to not eat very much on boxing day.

To do next time the Canada-US exchange rate is favourable

I just thought of this now, but I wish I'd thought of it a year ago.

If there are US retailers you like to shop at, buy yourself a bunch of gift cards from them when the exchange rate is favourable. Then when the exchange rate worsens, you can use your gift cards and it will be just like spending money at the better exchange rate.

In other worse, if I had bought myself some gift cards when the dollars were at par, the $114 US purchase I just put in my cart would cost me $114 CAD instead of $138 CAD.

To find out before carrying this out: do US gift cards expire?

Friday, December 26, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The problem with calling the police is you can't call them off

This is a bit meandering, but I do have a point eventually.

It started with poor Gregg Moynagh. The fact that the police couldn't deal with a man in crisis armed with knives without shooting him frightens me, because this means I can't ever call 911 if I should ever have a loved one in crisis.

So this got me thinking about what I would do if someone was in crisis and had knives, which got me thinking about the choreography and potential for injury in fighting someone with a knife. And after thinking about this for a while, I came to the conclusion that the risk of getting cut or killed is very real, but the possibility of talking them down or disarming them is still great enough that I'd be willing to take that risk for someone I cared enough about, especially if the alternative is them getting shot. So perhaps the police aren't as willing to risk their own lives, which isn't very Starfleet of them but they are human and that's not my point here.

My point is this: suppose I have a loved one in crisis. Suppose he has knives. Suppose I call 911 and the police show up. Suppose the police tell him to put down the knives or they'll shoot shoot. At this point, I am no longer allowed to decide I'd rather risk myself getting stabbed than him getting shot. The police would stop me. Because I'm a civilian, I'm not allowed to make that decision in the presence of the police. Because some random police officers aren't willing to risk their lives for a stranger, I'm not allowed to risk my life for someone I love.

Even if you trust the police to behave proerly in all situations, that's still not comfortable.

Why medical interpreters are important

Think about the last time you were in pain. Describe the pain. Not just "My foot hurt," but describe how exactly it hurt, the flavour of the pain.

Think about the last time you felt like something might be wrong, you weren't quite sure, and were debating whether to go to the doctor. Describe what exactly you were feeling and experiencing.

Think about the last time one of your bodily excretions was abnormal. Describe it like you would to a doctor who needs to diagnose it but doesn't get to see it.

If you've been pregnant, think about the odd feeling you got that, in retrospect, told you you were pregnant before you even noticed your missing period. Pretend it's your first pregnancy and you don't know that this feeling means pregnant. Describe the feeling.

If you've ever done fertility awareness, describe what your cervical mucus is like when you're ovulating. Not what textbook cervical mucus is like, what your own personal cervical mucus is like.

If you've ever had a panic attack or a depressive episode or anything else that can be found in the DSM, describe what you felt and experienced. Not cold textbook symptoms, where your head and your emotions were at during the episode.

Now describe all these things in your second language (or your favourite non-first language). Right now, off the cuff, without reaching for a dictionary.

You lose a lot of nuance, don't you? You can do the gross concept, but the fine details just don't turn out right.

This is why medical interpreters are important.

Learning the English you need to do your job and go about everyday life is far, far easier than describing these delicate nuanced things, especially when you don't know what aspects are and are not important for the doctor to know. I'm a language professional and I've done medical translation, but I don't even think I could describe the nature of my pain or the odd qualities of my bodily fluids in another language off the cuff. I could use my computer and my dictionaries and thesauruses the internet and come up with a decent prepared statement if I had a bit of time and was in my right mind, but if I'm in such a bad state that I'm being hospitalized I'm not going to be nearly articulate enough. I could write a formal business letter or discuss the history of coalition governments in Canada or draw up a union grievance or fake being an air traffic controller in French (not that air traffic controllers really work in French that much) better than I could describe my pain in French.

Needing a medical interpreter is not a sign of laziness or insufficient English. It's merely symptomatic of the fact that people rarely need to be able to describe symptoms in full and proper nuance in their everyday life.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Interesting horoscopes this year

From the Star:

Answers to some vexing questions will begin to arrive within the next six weeks. This will allow you to start afresh on an emotional issue. Your next year will end on a fantastic note.


From the G&M:

A sun-Pluto aspect on your birthday this year will make you assertive in the extreme. You don't have to be domineering but you probably will be.

The good news is it's a role you seem destined to play, so play it for all it is worth. It could be fun.


Too bad these things never come true.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Things They Should Invent: service to take charitable donations to charities

There are a lot of charities that will accept donations of various things. However, it's usually incumbent upon the donor to get the donation to the charity. This is problematic when the donor doesn't have a car, which happens often in urban areas.

Solution: a service where people pick up your charitable donations and take it to the appropriate charity.

What's people's motivation to do this? If pure volunteerism isn't enough, it could be done by people who need community service hours (high school students and people who have been charged with minor criminal offences). Those who have cars can do the schlepping (maybe they could swing it so their mileage expenses count as a tax-deductable charitable donation?) and those who don't have cars could answer phones, schedule pick-ups, and find charities who will take the various items people have to donate.

I'm thinking maybe it could even be done almost entirely online to minimize need for overhead. People could book pick-ups and do research online, so they wouldn't necessarily have to go into some central office. There probably would need to be a central office, but it could be small and maybe even in donated space belonging to a larger organization.

Things They Should Invent: divide "sense of humour" into two separate concepts

"A good sense of humour" can mean either of two things. It can mean that the person finds things funny easily, or finds a wide variety of things funny. (This is the definition that Laughlab used when comparing different countries, and it was the definition used in that study a while back that determined that women don't have a good sense of humour.) It can also mean that when the person tries to make a joke, it ends up being a good joke that makes most people laugh.

These two concepts are not interchangeable, and can even be incompatible. If you're in the audience watching a stand-up comedian, you want them to be able to make up good jokes. However, you don't want them to be the kind of person who finds things funny extremely easily. If they find things funny too easily, they'll just stand there on stage and say "Dude, I farted!" and expect a laugh.

If you're listening to the joke, your idea of a good sense of humour in your interlocutor is a very high standard of what's worthy of a laugh. If you're telling the joke, your idea of a good sense of humour in your interlocutor is a very low standard of what's worthy of a laugh.

These really need to be two separate concepts with two different names, because they aren't really interchangeable.

Look at the baby turtle!

Teeny!

Why I don't like this number

For reasons I can't articulate, I've always associated 28 with a certain degree of coolness. For like half my life, it's been the age I've had in mind when thinking about when I'm properly grown up and have got it all together.

While I do have one or two things going on, there's no way I'm going to hit that level of coolness by tomorrow. Which, again for reasons I can't articulate, makes me feel like I'm never going to hit it.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

So how exactly does one act offended in a manner becoming a president?

Mitch Potter at the Star seems to think that George W. Bush's not being particularly offended that he had shoes thrown at him is a sign of obliviousness and Bush should have been more offended.

First of all, I don't think not being bothered by the shoes is a sign of obliviousness, it's just a sign that shoes have no emotional weight for Bush, as they don't for most of us I suspect. If someone disses you with something that's intended as a dis but just doesn't feel like a dis to you, you aren't going to feel offended even if you understand intellectually that it was intended as a really hardcore dis.

For example, in Quebec profanity, crisse can be pretty hardcore. But when we as anglos hear it, it doesn't carry that emotional weight. We hear and react emotionally to "Christ!", even when we understand intellectually that the speaker meant "Motherfucker!" (Yes, I know it's more often used adjectivally, but it's the best cognate example I can think of at the moment. If you have anything better, please post in the comments.)

So what I'm wondering is what sort of reaction does this columnist think would be appropriate? How would a person express offence on something that they don't even feel is much of a dis in a way appropriately becoming a head of state, and that would be more helpful to the situation than just brushing it off? (Especially considering that he's already invaded and is occupying his country?)

Childfree for Dummies: Part II

Think about pets. There are some pets you're really into. (Doggies? Kitties? Bunnies?) You think they're adorable and have or want one yourself and are interested in all your friends' stories about their pets of that species.

Then there are other pets you're not that into. (Budgies? Goldfish?) Logically you can appreciate them and give them basic pet respect, and one in a while they can be cute, but you skip right over them when you go to the pet store to objectify puppies and scroll right past them on Cute Overload.

Think about the pets you're not that into. Think about how you'd feel about owning one. Now think about how you'd feel about owning one that you have to keep for the rest of your life and it would have full human rights.

That's how I feel about having kids.

My 2009 New Year's resolution

In keeping with my tradition of reckless and irresponsible resolutions, my 2009 New Year's resolution is Shut Up And Buy It Already!

I recently realized that the vast majority of things I buy make me happy, and those that don't (most often cosmetics misfires) feel like acceptable collateral damage. Unsuccessful purchases don't feel bad for very long, denying myself a purchase because "Oh, I shouldn't!" doesn't feel good (not even when I appeal to my base and very unattractive need to feel smug and superior), and successful purchases always feel very good.

Therefore, as long as I'm employed and the purchase won't put me into the red or require breaking into my emergency funds, I will buy everything I covet. If I regret a purchase, I will learn from the experience. Since I've never messed up financially, I can afford a few learning experiences if necessary.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Someone must make this youtube mashup!

Remember this from back when Knut Eisbär-Baby was little and cute?



Someone recently mentioned to me that the problem with this video is that the soundtrack is cute. The soundtrack doesn't need to be cute, because the bear is already the cutest thing ever! The soundtrack is just overkill, making a stupid schmaltzy mess of what should be a genuine AWWWW! moment.

So what this video needs is a vaguely bad-ass soundtrack. Off the top of my head, I recommend Fifty Cent's If I Can't. (Content warning 1: NSFW unless you're wearing headphones, unless your boss cares what you listen to even if you are wearing headphones - it's hip hop, with the corresponding lyrics and themes. Content warning 2: Yes, I linked to the jungle book remix. Because I can.)

Better suggestions are welcome. But someone needs to make this.

Majel Barrett died! :(

Lwaxana Troi, the voice of the Enterprise computer, Mrs. Roddenberry. Passed away yesterday at the age of 76 from leukemia.

The National Post, of all places, has a best-of.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Do extroverts really deliberately not talk to people (even when they have something to say) for the sole purpose of spiting them?

I've heard this sentiment many times; the most recent iteration come from today's Dear Prudence:

My husband has three children from his first marriage. Every year the three of them—now ages 16, 21, and 25—come to my mother's Christmas party and line up on the couch sullenly, grimly, and silently. This rudeness is extremely embarrassing to me in front of my other relatives. Worse, my husband is kind of powerless when it comes to his kids and tends to join them, silent, on the couch. I would just like to have them not come, because I don't think I can make them talk, but this thought distresses my mother no end. What do I do?


This lady seems to think that her stepchildren aren't talking for the sole purpose of spiting everyone else. This is odd to me, because it seems so bloody obvious to me that they're feeling shy and awkward and uncomfortable in the home of all these near-strangers (their stepmother's family of origin). They clearly just can't think of anything to say - or perhaps can't think of anything to say that's of sufficient interest and doesn't push any hot buttons. (For example, I know full well that people don't want to hear about the organic hair products I'm recently obsessed with, and the strange mistakes that came up in the text I was quality controlling don't make a good story to people without a solid grounding in comparative stylistics. And we can all think of that one person whom you just shouldn't get started on politics, so a whole wack of topics are right out if that person is there.)

However, this lady thinks they're doing it on purpose and out of spite. Therefore, it stands to reason that not talking even though she has something productive to say is something she might conceivabely do out of spite (because how else would it occur to her that this might be their motivation?)

Do extros actually do that? How egotistical is that train of thought - "I will deprive them of my wit and wisdom because what I have to say is so fucking special that it WILL be missed!" Do they never find themselves at a loss of what to say?

In the meantime, here's a helpful hint: whatever fascinating thing you think the non-talker has to say, they aren't aware that they have it or aren't aware that it might be of interest. So (assuming it isn't too personal) ask them about it!

Pretty puppy

Clicky

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Noblesse oblige

I think I'm better able to articulate what's bothering me about criticism of Montadhar Al-Zaydi. Yes, throwing a shoe is imperfect behaviour, but we all lose our temper every once in a while.

The problem is that some people are acting like this imperfect behaviour is some egregious sin because it happened in the presence of a dignitary (like it or not, George W. Bush is a dignitary), as if to say "How dare you expose our dignitary to your lowly proletarian emotions!" They are demanding that Mr. Al-Zaydi be the bigger person because there's a dignitary in the room. This is contrary to basic chivalyr, it's contrary to noblesse oblige, and it's contrary to the basic American principle of equality.

We need our dignitaries to be the bigger person. We need the then-Queen of England visiting bombed-out sections of London, symbolically keeping her family in London instead of fleeing to safety in the countryside. We need Pope John Paul II meeting with and forgiving the guy who tried to assassinate him. We need Adrienne Clarkson inviting the kid who wrongfully got kicked out of Rideau Hall to tea.

But demanding the commoner to be a bigger person is like Marie Antoinette, playing at being a peasant, milking cows that the servants have bathed ahead of time so that Her Majesty will not be offended by the smell.

The noble thing for George W. Bush to do would be to insist that this incident be treated just the same as throwing a shoe at an ordinary person.

Google-fu (Guns & Banjos edition)

I think this is this.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Things They Should Study: is it easier to become rich or educated?

A while back someone somewhere in my comments (sorry, I'm blanking on who and where) mentioned that there are people who decry academics as elitist, but don't do the same for rich people because they (the decriers) aspire/expect to be rich one day themselves.

Someone should study whether it is in fact easier to become educated or rich. They'd need to do it by thresholds. For example, is it easier to become a millionaire or to get a PhD? What about a master's degree? What about a billionaire?

Things I need mnemonics for

1. practice/practise (I know practise is the verb, but I want it to have a mnemonic on principle)

2. allemand/allemagne (one of them capitalizes but I forget which, so that should be included in the mnemonic)

3. continual/continuous (I have to look it up every. single. fucking. time.)

For thinking about

Forget everything you know about Montadhar Al-Zaydi for a second.

Imagine someone throws shoes at you. You duck, they miss, you are uninjured.

Would it even occur to you to press charges?

I don't think it would even occur to me. I'd want to get away from them or for them to be removed from where I am, but once that's done there's not much more than WTF. If the shoes hit me and broke my glasses or damaged my teeth or hurt my eye or bruised my face, it would probably occur to me to press charges. But if I was uninjured, I'd probably get no further than flummoxed and glad it's over.

Now you can remember everything you know about Montadhar Al-Zaydi again.

Politically, the best possible thing George W. Bush could do is inisite that Mr. Al-Zaydi be freed and no charges be pressed on the basis that he was simply exercising the rights and freedoms that the US has so generously won for him.

But since that's not gonna happen, you can sign a petition to have him freed. (h/t L-girl)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Things They Should Invent: text-only DVD menus

So your DVD menu has nifty visuals and sound bites from the movie all cleverly animated together so it does a little dance as the menu loads and another little dance as the menu goes away. Very nice and we all applaud your talents - until about the fourth time we're going through the menu. Then we really don't care any more, really we don't, we just want to watch the last couple of special features!

Can we have a workaround please?

Why we should all be worried about the Dziekanski ruling (plus: the definitive guide to when it's appropriate to use a taser)

They aren't laying charges against the Mounties who tased Robert Dziekanski to death.

This is only one of many recent cases where cops have tased people for acting agitated or erratic (here's another). Even if you aren't opposed to tasers, we need our police to not go around tasing people for acting erratic or agitated.

Why? Think for a second, quietly and to yourself, about situations you, personally, might one day find yourself in where you would require police assistance. You dial 911, you need the police to come quickly and help you because that's their job as police, to come quickly and help you in emergencies. Just think of these situations and how you'd feel.

Wouldn't you most likely be a bit agitated and erratic?

People who need police assistance are going to be agitated and erratic, so the police need to be able to help people who are agitated and erratic, not zap them so they'll shut up!

Tasers were undoubtedly inspired by Star Trek's phasers, which have a harmless stun setting that has never killed anyone, not even heretofore unknown aliens on whom they're being used for the first time ever. I'm sure the ease of stunning with a phaser has informed (consciously or not) people's perception of when it is or is not appropriate to use a taser.

But think about when they actually use phasers on Star Trek. They would never stun someone just for acting erratic. They'd draw them, sure, but they'd try to talk them down. Even if the person started throwing (smallish, non-lethal) stuff, they'd never stun them, they'd just dodge the projectiles. Apart from that one very clever moment in Enterprise when T'Pol was being held hostage by cowboy aliens so Reed stunned her (making the enemy think he'd killed her and therefore that she was no longer useful as a hostage), every single instance of person-to-person phaser fire by a good-guy Starfleet officer has been in response to a direct and immediate threat on their own or someone else's life. The bad guy has started shooting or is about to destroy the ship or something.

I think that's a good guideline on when to use tasers. Think to yourself: "Would a Starfleet officer fire their phasers in this circumstance?" If the answer is no, don't use your taser.

"But," you protest, "Starfleet officers are held to impossibly high standards! They're held up as ideal examples of all that is good and fair and right and just about humanity!"

Yes, yes they are. Just like Mounties.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Most accurate internet quiz ever!

Have you seen the Cool Person Test? It's astounding! It pegged every nuance of my coolness level with uncanny accuracy!

Click here to take the test.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

OMG, this is a real song!

Remember the episode of the Simpsons where Bleeding Gums Murphy is in the hospital (dying?) and Lisa is running around trying to get someone to play his record on the radio? The song she sings in that episode is real!

The, Mannequin, The

You know you're a langling when you've had Toronto band Die Mannequin on your ipod for like a year, and it only just occurred to you that the first word in their name might be the English verb as opposed to the German definite article.

Complete sentences

When I was in elementary school, we always had to answer written questions in complete sentences. If the question on the worksheet was "What is the capital of Canada?" we had to write "The capital of Canada is Ottawa." Just writing "Ottawa" was wrong.

It just occurred to me that this rule has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the real world.

Brain usage profile

Quiz is here

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 44%
Visual : 55%
Left : 55%
Right : 44%

You are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.

Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.

You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."

With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.

***

That might explain why I'm never able to figure out if I'm left-brained or right-brained, or auditory or visual - I had no idea it could be so close.

Denervousization?

I'm nervous about something, and I've been carrying this nervousness around for a few days. Then about an hour ago I hit a point where I was all "I'm sick of being nervous! It's really consuming!" Then I stopped being nervous because it was so annoying. But then the nervousness came back.

I wish I knew how to leverage that.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Helpful hint to ebay sellers

If you somehow indicate in or on the packaging what your ebay name is, it's easier for me to give you your well-deserved five-star rating.

Puppy time!

Awww!

Six degrees of Wikipedia

New game! You say the idea that sent you to Google and the strange place you ended up, and people have to guess how you got there.

For example, I started thinking "It's cold out today" and ended up in the Wikipedia category "Fictional Tubers".

The tricky part is it isn't a matter of simply clicking links. You think of an idea, google something, start reading an interesting page, google an idea that stems from that etc.

Or you could just find the shortest route between two Wikipedia articles (c.f. xkcd)

Would a trickle-up economic stimulus work?

Once upon a time I suggested that we should try to make up our government's foreign aid shortfall.

I wonder if doing the same for the economic stimulus would work? What would happen if we all spent 20% of our income on extra, ethical, green, targeted spending?

Obviously it's logistically unfeasible. Most people don't have 20% of their income just sitting around, and for the vast majority of those who do it's probably in retirement accounts or something you shouldn't be touching. And even if you did have that kind of money sitting around, what on earth would you spend it on? Do the math, 20% of your annual salary. That's a shitload of money to just spend on extras, isn't it? Especially since you'd have to spend it in a way that would boost our economy rather than shipping it off to China or somewhere, you couldn't just replace perfectly good existing stuff because that wouldn't be environmentally friendly, you couldn't spend it on necessities because that isn't extra spending...I suppose house people could spend it on green renovations, but the rest of us? I don't think I even have room in my apartment for an extra 20% of my income worth of anything! (Except perhaps diamonds or something, but that's a whole nother ethical issue.)

But suppose it was possible. Suppose every single citizen went and spent 20% of their income on ethical, green purchases that are targeted to boost our economy and that they wouldn't otherwise buy. Would that boost our economy the same as the 20% economic stimulus the government is supposed to do?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Why photoshopping shouldn't be allowed in fashion magazines

Antonia Zerbisias points out that Jessica Alba was photoshopped and, in accordance with the mandate of her blog, touches upon its effect on women's body image. But that topic bores me; I want to talk about the other problem with this practice.

The other problem is it makes the clothes look more flattering than they are, which, if this is the kind of magazine that lists clothing credits, is essentially false advertising for the designer and gives them a bye on actually doing their job well.

That is not a well-designed outfit. The shorts do nothing to help her hips, and the belt is too wide which makes her waist look thicker because it encompasses some thicker-than-waist areas and marks them as waist-thin. But by photoshopping the model and the clothes, it gives the impression that it's a more flattering outfit than it actually is.

It isn't that difficult to design a flattering outfit - well, I shouldn't say "It isn't that difficult" because I can't do it, but I have a closet full of clothes that are more flattering than that thing. I have a good 20-30 pounds on Jessica Alba, and my outfit right now makes my waist and hips look better than her pre-photoshopped photo - and my outfit was thrown together while running late based on what's clean and the fact that there was a wind chill of -15 when I left the house this morning, and cost less than $50. A professional photo shoot should be able to do even better.

Any designer who can't make Jessica Alba's figure look sufficiently attractive does not deserve to have their clothes featured in her photo shoot. Photoshopping non-flattering clothes so they look flattering is a disservice to everyone who has to wear clothes. We need to hold our designers accountable!

Parents vs. dog people

I like to interact with dogs, and sometimes I feel moved to interact with children (damn ovaries!). I start the interactions the same way with both: by smiling and (if appropriate) saying hi, then I continue if the creature responds positively.

Somewhere between 50% and 75% of the time, the dog people try to temper the dog's interaction, by making it sit or scolding it about approaching me. I'm not sure whether this is intended to protect the dog from me or to proect me from the dog. (And I'm not sure what an appropriate response on my part is - I want to pet the dog and it seems to want me to pet it, but I don't want to mess up its training. But it doesn't seem fair that dogs with stricter training should never get to play with a willing passer-by.)

But I have never in my life had anyone try to temper my interaction with their child, not even total strangers. They let me say hi to their kid, they let me do finger-grabby with their baby, they let their kid tell me all about Dora the Explorer, they let me convince their kids to press elevator buttons for me, I've even had strangers stand by smiling while their toddler hugged my leg like I was her new best friend (I thought she had the wrong person, but even when I looked down and made eye contact she just kept hugging my leg and smiling back up at me).

I'm not sure what this means. If it had to be one or the other, I'd rather get to play with the dogs.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I don't usually post about US politics, but...

Supreme Court Overturns Bush v. Gore

Things I want

1. Punk carols. Not that I particularly want xmas music, but if there has to be xmas music it should at least be punk.

2. Fierce boots! If only I could justify spending $500 on boots...

3. An Iggy mashup youtube. Michael Ignatieff vs. Iggy Pop. Not that the entertainment value would be particularly high, but it seems very much like the kind of thing that should exist on the internet.

4. Black roses! Except real live ones (which currently do not exist).

5. Everyone who thinks its appropriate to saunter two-abreast down the subway stairs when there are trains at BOTH platforms and dozens of rushed people on the stairs behind them to be banished from the realm.

Handles are an important part of the bag

From a larger article in Sunday's Star:

When Irish officials resolved to charge a fee for plastic grocery bags, they didn't use detailed economic calculations to determine the optimal number. They went for simple shock value – what amount would make shoppers think twice before taking a disposable plastic bag to carry home, say, a loaf of bread already wrapped in plastic?


The point - the need for a bag - is not to protect the bread from dirt and elements. It isn't that I specifically want to wrap the bread in another layer of plastic. The reason I get the bread in a bag, even if that's the only thing I'm buying, is that the bag has handles.

If I were to carry a loaf of bread home without a bag, that would take up either a hand (if I held it by the end of its plastic bag) or an arm (if I cradled it). I'd have to be at least a little careful with it so as not to drop it or squish it. But if it's in a plastic bag, I hold the bag by its handles or hang it from my wrist - whichever's easier and usually switching between the two as I go about my business - so my hand and arm are almost entirely free and I don't have to make the effort to protect the bread.

"Big deal!" you're thinking, "How much trouble could that be? What harm could possibly befall a loaf of bread on the way home from the store?" Not much if all I did was buy the bread and take it home. But I do a number of errands on the way home from the office. Today when I arrived at the apartment door, I was carrying six full shopping bags from three different stores, two newspapers, two library books, a letter, a parcel, and my keys. The shopping bags were all hanging on my wrists by the handles - I couldn't have carried it off any other way. And even with the convenience of handles, I was still soaking wet because I didn't have a free-enough arm to hold up an umbrella.

This is why even if an individual item doesn't need a bag, the shopper still might. This is why those LCBO paper bags with no handles are downright insulting. And this is why people need to think of the logistics and choreography of the entire trip chain when trying to determine our bag needs.

Is it reasonable to assume that deaf people can read lips?

Written on the grocery store cashier's name tag just under her name is "I am deaf".

So does this mean I should assume she can read lips?

On one hand, it seems reasonable to assume the person behind the cash register is capable of handling the transaction in the usual way. I've been shopping at that store for eight years, every single cashier interaction I've had has been in verbal English assuming I can use verbal English wouldn't be out of line.

On the other hand, it seems really hearing-centric to barge in assuming she can read lips. Lipreading seems like the kind of thing that you'd find out isn't that common IRL and is only a TV plot device.

Fortunately it was a simple transaction (scan, bag, pay, thank you come again) so we didn't really need to communicate. And I don't know if she could read lips, but she could speak. I also found myself exaggerating my facial expressions just a tinch. I'm not sure whether that's good or bad. On one hand, in my aborted attempt to learn ASL, the teacher said that facial expressions were especially important among the Deaf (at least I think that's what she said, she was signing at the time). On the other hand, it seems like of like going to Germany and speaking to the locals in loud slow English.