Does anyone get anything out of rote recitation of a prayer?

Apparently they say the Lord's Prayer in the Ontario Legislature? and they're only just now thinking "Hey, maybe this isn't the time or place"?

I've already written what I think about saying it in public school and that applies here too, but now I'm wondering something else.

If you are in fact religious, and you're in a situation like this where you have to recite a specifically-worded prayer in a secular context, do you at all feel it emotionally or religiously or faithfully or however it is you normally experience prayer?

I was once religious so I do grok that prayer is something to be experienced, not simply something to be recited. You think and feel something and then pray it, and then something happens, something that's more than just thinking and feeling it. (I don't know what happens, I never had the experience myself which is why I'm an atheist, but it's supposed to happen.) And I do see how saying a specific prayer could be an experience when done in a church or some other religious context - in Catholicism, all the words and actions of the mass had a specific purpose which served a greater goal of forgiving all our sins so we wouldn't go to hell if we died between the end of mass and our next sin or something (there are big words for all this but they escape me at the moment).

But if you're in the legislature - a completely secular context of no theological significance - and you recite from a given script, are you experiencing it religiously at all? Reciting in a religious context I can see, praying whatever your happen to be thinking and feeling in any context I can see, but does reciting in an irrelevant context actually do anything for you?

Any religious people out there? Or have I already alienated them all?

ETA: Theme of the day seems to be blogging things that other people have already said better. Here's Eddie's take.

A better name for Family Day

Monday is Family Day. Which is a bad name for a holiday - it imposes obligation on people who don't want to spend time with their families and alienates people who don't have families, while people who do want to spend time with their families would be doing so anyway. Not that I care that much because I don't get the day off.

Today, the sun was out as I was leaving work for the first time this year. I usually notice the return of the sun around around this time of year, and it does make life a little brighter.

Therefore, this holiday should be themed on something like Here Comes The Sun Day. But shorter, perhaps with a mythological reference or something. Suggestions are welcome!

ETA: James Bow's idea is better.

A Toronto moment

The cashier goes to give the customer his change, then realizes that one of the coins is foreign.

Cashier: Wait, this isn't right, let me get you a real dime.
Customer: **inspects strange coin** I wonder what this is?
Cashier: I don't know, I've never seen one of those before.
Customer: It looks like some European language. I can never tell them apart.
Cashier: Me neither, they all look the same.

Math lesson for Michael Bryant

So the Ontario Liberals want to have the legislature sit in the morning instead of in the afternoon and evening.

Now I should admit a perceived conflict of interest here: I am a card-carrying member of Night Owls International (Motto: "We do more after 2am than most people do all day"). However, this post isn't about circadian rhythms, it's about math.

When the legislature is in session, it sits from 1:30 to 6:00 p.m. and again from 6:45 p.m. until as late as midnight Monday through Thursdays, with the only morning sessions at 10 a.m. Thursdays for two hours of private members' business.

Bryant said sitting from 9:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. would expand the number of hours for debate each week by as much as 50 per cent and make life a little easier for members with family demands.

So let's calculate this. First, the number of hours a week under the current system:

1:30 to 6 = 4.5 hours
6:45 to midnight = 5.25 hours
= 9.75 hours a day * 4 days a week = 39 hours a week.
+ 2 hours on Thursday mornings = 41 hours a week

Now under the new system:

9:30 to 6 = 8.5 hours
8.5 * 4 days a week = 34 hours a week

So under the new system they'd actually be sitting for fewer hours a week! That in no way expands the number of hours of debate by 50%!

Now if the MPPs decide they want to sit earlier for work-life balance purposes, that's perfectly fine. A lot of people get to flex their work hours, and I don't think anyone will begrudge them that except for the subset of people who will begrudge them anything and everything on the basis that they're politicians. But don't go around saying it increases the number of hours of work when it doesn't! Frankly, I expected better from Michael Bryant, he's always struck me as rather sensible.

Things They Should Invent: Youtube 4'33"

I would start this myself if I had a video camera.

It occurred to me today that Youtube would be the ideal venue for visual performances of John Cage's 4'33". There are some videos of musical performances, but instead of having it "played" on a piano or a violin or a guitar, I'm thinking it should be "played" on a video camera.

Here's how it works: set up your camera somewhere where you don't have complete control over what's going to pass through the viewfinder. Looking out the window, looking at the fishtank, or strapped to the dog are good. Pointing at a blank wall or sitting on top of your computer monitor filming your face are bad. Then press record, and wander away from the camera going about life as you normally would be, whether that has you in the same room as the camera or not. After 4 minutes and 33 seconds, stop filming and post the results on Youtube. You only get one try and you have the post the results of your first try unless it ends up invading someone's privacy in a context where they should reasonably expect privacy (e.g. if your camera is pointing out the window and films someone walking down the street, that's fine. If it's strapped to the dog and the dog wanders into the bathroom where your spouse is doing a bikini wax, don't post that one.)

Instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour on a Sunday night, I think I'll do a stupid meme

Soundtrack to your life meme.

Shuffle your playlist and press play. For each question type the song that's playing. Then press next and type the next song for the next question.

Opening Credits:
Knuckle Down - Ani DiFranco
That could work

Waking Up:
Another Brick In The Wall (Part 1) - Pink Floyd
Wow, that's going to be an intense day...

First Day At School:
Baby's in Black - The Beatles
This is going to be a weird story...

Falling In Love:
I've Got a Crush on Your - Ella Fitzgerald
My iTunes is smart!

Fight Song:
In My Life - The Beatles
I want to see a fight scene to that song!

Breaking Up:
Don't Download This Song - Weird Al Yankovic
Again, I want to see a breakup scene to that song!

Prom:
Outta Me, Onto You - Ani DiFranco
Could work if the prom doesn't take itself seriously. Actually, would work well since the prom comes AFTER the break-up

Life is Good:
Excuse Me, I Think I've Got a Heartache - Cake
Are we going for irony here?

Mental Breakdown:
I Just Can't Wait To Be King - from the Lion King
Hey, if it's a really thorough mental breakdown, why not?

Driving:
Your Little Body Is Slowly Breaking Down - from Evita
Well, I'm not a good driver...actually, this would work if I had a car I'm emotionally attached to and I'm driving it on its last trip ever before it dies

Flashback:
Prologue from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat
Flashback to what?

Getting Back Together:
Find Your Grail - from Spamalot
That could work actually!

Wedding:
Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
For an emotionally complicated wedding, yes!

Paying the Dues:
Yellow Submarine - The Beatles
Am I paying the dues by working on a ship?

The Night Before The War:
Space Man - Smash Mouth
Am I in the air force?

Final Battle:
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet Near Mars - Weird Al Yankovic
I don't think this movie is taking itself very seriously

Moment of Triumph:
Earth Intruders - Björk
Okay, so this movie clearly involves a futuristic space battle. It would work though!

Death Scene:
This Jesus Must Die - from Jesus Christ Superstar
So now I'm the messiah too?

Funeral Song:
Good Morning Starshine - from Hair
Well, if I'm the messiah people are going to have to celebrate my death at some point...

End Credits:
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps - Cake
Okay then, not the weirdest thing

Okay, so I'm secretly and unknowingly the messiah in a futuristic universe that includes space battles and where half the time the emotions of a situation are the opposite of what they should be.

Also, I don't think my iTunes knows how to shuffle very well. That wasn't nearly random enough.

School buses

So apparently in the US they do or used to bus students around to different schools so that schools would be more balanced racially.

It's obviously a big and loaded issue, but there's one thing I'm surprised they didn't mention: taking the school bus SUCKS!

I took the schoolbus in grades 6-8. Before and after that, my schools were close enough to our house that I could walk or my parents would drive me depending on circumstances.

The major problem with the schoolbus was you were trapped. You had no freedom. You had to be on that bus at that specific time, and you had no other choices. In grade 5 we could stop at Becker's for candy on the way to school, or go in early and join the pick-up soccer game, or sleep in a bit (or watch Jem and Punky Brewster) and get to school just in time for the bell. On the way home we could go to a friend's house or run home really fast to watch Ninja Turtles or dawdle and play Ninja Turtles. Then suddenly in Grade 6 we had to take the bus and all these options were gone. The bus got us to school half an hour before the bell - no more, no less. If you were a victim of bullying, you were trapped on the bus with your bullies, and you had to kill half an hour in the mornings before classes started instead of showing up just before the bell to minimize bullying opportunities. You couldn't go to the store and buy candy, you couldn't go to a friend's house without a note from your parents stamped by the office to let you on your friend's bus, there was just no freedom whatsoever.

My high school was closer than my middle school so I didn't have to take the bus any more. This was especially useful in OAC when we had spares. In my last semester of high school, I had first and last period spare, so I could sleep in a bit (which also eliminated bathroom battles with my sister, who had a class first period) and go to school for 10, then take three classes in a row and go home at 2 if I had nothing to do, or stay as needed for extra-curricular or social reasons. However, a classmate with a similar schedule who took the bus had to hang around the school from like 8:00 to 3:30 with nothing to do for hours. (Some people had cars in high school, but not enough that you could make policy on that assumption.)

Frankly, on a personal level, I would be pretty pissed off if someone tried to take that freedom away from me for the purpose of greater racial integration. Nothing against the people in the other school or the neighbourhood the other school is in, it's just the limitations of being dependent on a school bus. I'm rather surprised this hasn't come up as one of the factors.

Dreaming in black and white

Did people still used to dream in black and white before TV/movies/photography were invented? Because if you were completely unfamiliar with black and white images IRL, black and white dreams would be so bizarrely arbitrary!

Things They Should Invent: proper instructions on how to skip double dutch

I was googling for how to skip double dutch, and everything I can find talks extensively about how you need to get two ropes and two people to turn and one or more people to jump, and how to turn the ropes so they're opposite to each other, all of which I know. And then when it gets to the point that I want to know about, it says "Jump in!" Then it goes on about how you can do all these tricks and stuff, but never actually elaborates HOW to jump. I've never been able to figure this out! The turning isn't the hard part, the jumping is! Give us better instructions people!

What if...

- Suppose someone's got you cornered and is about to beat you up, and your cellphone rings, and you say "Just a moment, I have to take this call." Would that stop them, at least briefly before they go "Hey, wait a second..."

- Suppose you see someone else being attacked, and you just walk in calmly, completely ignoring the fact that there's an attack going on, and start talking to the victim and take them by the hand and lead them out "Oh, there you are, I thought we were supposed to be meeting over on the corner. Come here for a second, I need you to look at my car, the windshield wipers have been acting funny..." Again, would that throw off the attackers just long enough to make an escape?

- Suppose media coverage of the US elections (aside: are they going to be campaigning straight through until November? or do they get a break?) just didn't mention the fact that Hilary Clinton is female and Barack Obama is black. If the media stopped mentioning it as a factor would it continue to be a factor?

- In places where people like to go around shooting abortion doctors, what if the abortion doctors had extremely elite well-trained pregnant bodyguards? So if you shoot at an abortion doctor, a pregnant woman will jump in and take the bullet. Logistical and ethical issues aside, would that be an effective deterrent to the shooters?

Things They Should Invent: "comfortism" as a separate concept from materialism

Materialism is about having things. "Comfortism" (still taking suggestions for a better word) is about the ease and/or comfort that those things bring to your life. It would be very helpful to separate those concepts.

I love my ipod not because it's a sleeky shiny pricey toy, but because carrying around all my music at once makes life more pleasant. I love my appliances not because they're the very latest thing in energy-efficient appliances, but because they make life so much easier. I love my computer not because it looks cool and was when I bought it faster than anyone else's computer, but because it allows me to do whatever I need or want to do without any waiting or technical difficulties.

These motivations for owning consumer goods should not be given the same label as the motivations of someone who wants to own something to show off or be cool or impress other people or so people will go "Whoa, they have a solid gold Hummer, they must be rich!" (If people actually have these motivations - I've found that people are quick to ascribe truly materialistic motivations to others, but if you ask people about their own motivations it's for ease or comfort or convenience).

The problem with holding conventional opinions

The problem with conventional opinions is that to the onlooker, a conventional opinion that you've blindly accepted without a second of critical thought looks exactly the same as a conventional opinion that you've analyzed deeply.

Suppose I say, "I don't believe in photons". Regardless of how sensible you think that opinion is, it's clear that I've thought about it rather than unquestioningly accepting what I was taught in science class.

However, if I say, "I think democracy is a good thing," you have no way of telling whether I've given the matter any thought or whether I'm just blindly accepting society's opinion.

Deep thoughts on US politics

Barack Obama's name always sounds backwards to me. He should switch it around and be Obama Barack instead. Plus, then he's be higher up on the ballot.

Open Letter to my Subconscious

Dear Subconscious:

Sex is a nice thing to dream about. So is flying. A quest or adventure dream is always good. Being a character in any work of fiction is a fun way to spend a night, and being given a plot that I can use to write my own fiction is always worthwhile. Barring that, I can appreciate any dream that will make a good anecdote, even if it is a nightmare.

So why the fuck did you make me spend all last night being 11 years old and stuck in the back of my parents' car while they drove all over suburbia doing boring errands???? Frankly, I'd rather have had a panic attack dream that woke me up at 4 in the morning! At least then once I'd recovered my equilibrium I could get some gaming in before my alarm went off!

Analogy for why I am not a musician

In Grade 12, my English teacher made us memorize the "To be or not to be" soliloquy from Hamlet, which was a perfectly normal assignment. On the test, we had to write out the soliloquy. Perfectly reasonable, right? Except that he was also marking us on whether we had memorized the exact punctuation! This was really surprising, since he also taught Drama, so I figured he would appreciate that the punctuation is not that relevant. As long as you know the words and understand their meaning and emotional arc, it doesn't matter if there's a period or a comma or a semi-colon or a colon or a dash between "To be or not to be" and "that is the question".

I stopped music when I came to the realization that I was never expressing myself artistically or creatively through that medium. I know other people do, but it doesn't work that way for me. When I worked on music - and I did have to practice and work extremely hard just to be competent - it was like memorizing the punctuation in Shakespeare. The more I worked the more I knew about music, the more familiar I was with the mechanics of the piece, the better I could play the piece, the more it became something my fingers could do automatically without involving my brain, but it was never artistic or creative. It never had soul, just like memorizing the punctuation in Shakespeare isn't going to give your performance soul.

Now I'm quite good at learning new things. I can pick up a book and learn fingerings and/or embouchure, then pick up an instrument and practice relentlessly, and with hard work I will eventually be able to play all the notes as written. But that doesn't make me a musician any more than a voice synthesizer reciting Shakespeare is an actor. I can learn knowledge and technical skills, but I can't fake having soul. I had to leave the church for that reason, and I also had to stop being a musician for that reason.

This always reminds me of this commercial. She wanted to be a gymnast, she was too tall, so she ended up being a pole vaulter. So impossible is nothing? No...being a gymnast was impossible because she was too tall. You can't set out to do one thing, fail, end up doing a completely different thing, and declare success on that basis. I can't go around saying "I always wanted to be a musician but I don't have the soul for it, so I ended up being a translator. See, you can do anything you put your mind to!" Not that people should be castigated when their original plans don't work out so they switch directions to something more suitable, but you can't use that situation to illustrate the idea that impossible is nothing.

A statement that is perfectly logical today but was utterly nonsensical a few short years ago

"I have a phone full of videos."

Thank you to Tabatha Southey for successfully articulating what I haven't been able to yet

"Saying, "I'm a feminist," is almost like saying, "I have no problem with Pakistanis" - we're all just going to assume that one, okay? Unless you say otherwise."

I'd love to link but the Globe & Mail won't let me

A playlist for the aliens

They're broadcasting Across The Universe into space (the original Beatles song, not the movie).

Very appropriate from the point of view of us down here on Earth, I freely admit, but is that really the best thing to send to the aliens? A lot of the meaning is in the lyrics, so they would have to be able to manage the concept of music, then recognize the many different instruments, then recognize that some of the sound is vocal, then have the concept of verbal language, then work out the English language except that one sentence is Sanskrit. I think even Hoshi Sato would have trouble working out a language if the occasional sentence was in another language. Plus, if it's the recording I think it is, there are some birds and stuff in the recording, which is non-linguistic (or, if it's linguistic it's another language completely irrelevant to the message) vocalizations from a whole nother species! That's an awful lot for the aliens to work out!

Better music to broadcast out to the aliens would be something with no lyrics, only one instrument, and a very clear structure so they can see there's intelligence behind it. Goldberg Variations anyone?

Sidewalks

Is it just me, or are people not being nearly as diligent about clearing their sidewalks this year?