Note to self: You don't like Lindeman's Bin 65 Chardonnay. Yes it's highly-rated and reasonably priced and keeps turning up on lists and has a yummy-sounding description on the label. But you don't like it, so stop buying it!

My local Blockbuster does not have The Princess Bride! INCONCEIVABLE!

I need the following:

1. A hairdresser who has long hair herself (long means at LEAST past the shoulder blades, preferably past the waist).

2. Machine-washable black or charcoal pants with pockets, size 14, that can handle a 12-inch difference between waist and hip circumferences without gaping in the back and look more appropriate on a 23-year-old than on a 63-year-old.

3. Someone to explain to me how necessary it is to take Introductory Harmony before Grade 3 Harmony if you already have Grade 2 Rudiments.

An analogy, for the reference of anyone who might be able to use it:

Secularism is a religion to the same extent that abstinence is a sex act.

Speaking from personal experience, this story is not so much indicative of the Canadian experience as it is indicative of the Dundas experience.

I have made a decision. Until I tire of doing so, I will eat dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner. The inspiration for this came this morning as I sipped my coffee, persued the Star, and pondered what to eat for breakfast. I came upon this article about a guy who eats pasta for breakfast every day. "Oooh, pasta! That sounds good!" my stomach said. Since it's the weekend and I already had some cooked pasta in the fridge, I figured why not? So I put some cooked pasta in a bowl and smothered it with cheese and tomato sauce as is my custom, and ate it for breakfast.

My digestive system handled it just fine even though it was the first thing I'd eaten that day (my digestive system is very picky about my first meal of the day), and it was quick and filling and yummy. Plus pasta has this strange talent for making me happy, so pasta for breakfast makes me much happier than my habitual breakfast. Perhaps I should do this more often?

Then I was reminded of a school of thought that it is preferable to eat your largest meal first thing in the morning and your smallest meal for dinner. I've never been able to do this because of morning time restraints and my digestive system's sensitivity to breakfast foods in the morning. But I habitually have a big bowl of pasta for dinner. So, I thought, what if I have my big bowl of pasta for brekkie (which gives me all day to metabolize it), my habitual lunch of two of soup, salad, and sandwich, and for dinner graze on fruit, eggs, and bread, which is my typical breakfast food?

Best case I might lose weight under this scenario. No heavy meal before bed, and fruit, eggs and bread are quick so I won't end up snacking while I make dinner because dinner will be right there, snack style. The only drawback is that I'll have to have cooked pasta prepared at all times, but that shouldn't be too difficult. Worst case I hate it and go back to eating like a normal person. We'll see what happens.

A favour? From anyone? Next time you go to see ROTK, glance at your watch when the spider scene is over. How long into the movie when it's over? 30 minutes? 1 hour? As accurately as possible please. Also, are there any other key plot points that happen before the spider?

I just remembered possibly the most bizarre thing I did in childhood:

In kindergarten, we had a sandbox. And in the sandbox we had this game we made up. I forget how the game went, but I distinctly remember that it was called "We're Making Food for the Robber."

I'm bored! Seriously! BORED! WTF is wrong with me?

As a public service, the Rules For Very Crowded Public Transit.

1. If you are not getting off at this exact stop, MOVE AWAY from the doors. If you are in the process of getting on, your mission the instant you set foot in the vehicle is to move as far away from the doors as possible.

2. Never, ever, ever EVER stop right in front of the subway doors. There's always someone who wants to get on behind you.

3. If you are standing near an empty seat, sit down in it. If someone who needs it more than you do is nearby let them sit down, but if they're on the other side of the bus take the seat yourself. Standing in front of an empty seat = taking up enough room for two.

4. After people from the stop before yours finish loading, you may stand up and move towards the doors. This is the earliest possible moment you are permitted to move towards the doors.

5. If you see more people getting on after you, start sardining. Fill in every possible space. If there's room after they've finished boarding you can move away from your neighbours.

6. Try to let people whose hands are full stand near walls and poles.

7. Sit your preschool child on your lap.

8. If you see a parent with more than one child, and neither of those children is within reach of a pole, let the poor kid sit down! The parent needs one hand to hold on to something and therefore can only hold one kid's hand, and children can't reach the plentiful ceiling rail thingies.

9. Sit with your legs together. No one actually believes your dick is that big.

A lot have things have been invented lately, but for some reason we tend not to call them "inventions".

An inappropriate combination of three totally random thoughts, in the order in which I thought of them:

1. Apparently Peter Jackson claims to be an arachnophobic. An arachnophobic would NOT have come up with what is apparently the single worst spider in cinematic history. A real arachnophobic would not even have been able to read that chapter of the book! Memo to Peter Jackson: when you make the DVD, make sure Shelob is in its own chapter with at least 30 seconds of forewarning, so we can just skip to the next chapter and avoid nightmares. Same for if you feel the need to put images of Shelob in the documentaries.

2. Poverty, true poverty, epitomized. (Because it seems to constantly change, cycle through until you get to the Afghan picture)

3. IT'S SNOWING!

There's sexual harrassment in early MASH episodes. It ruins the whole thing.

Way early star trek has better incidental music

I did laundry. Then I put my pjs on straight out of the dryer. There are few things in the world as perfect as warm jammies.

Things that really really do not need to be decorated for xmas:

- Television and radio station IDs
- Take-out food
- Everyday consumer products like pop and toilet paper
- Muzak
- Print media, with the possible exception of the single issue of any publication that is printed on or closest to xmas.

Speaking of print media, when did the maple leaf disappear from the Globe and Mail's masthead? (If this is appropriate use of the word masthead - the big title on the front page). I only noticed it yesterday and a quick prowl through the recycle box showed that it has been gone all week, but when did it disappear?

I'm home sick today, so if you feel inclined to bring a welcome interruption to my 3:00 ennui, don't bother today. :)

Saddam Hussein now bears a striking resemblance to my father. So do Osama bin Laden and new cabinet minister David Anderson.

I'm watching the documentaries on my LOTR DVD, and they're discussing how they wrote vocal operatic pieces in Tolkien languages for various parts of the soundtrack. I'm watching this and I'm like "Singing? Where's he singing?" Then they show final examples from the final cut, and it turns out there is vocal there, it just goes so well with the movie I never even noticed the music!