Friday, April 18, 2014

Analogy for why you won't regret not doing things you don't enjoy

Between my introversion and the fact that I've been extremely fortunate to land exactly where I want to in life, I'm content.  My life is very simple, contains exactly what I want, and makes me perfectly happy.  Because of this, I don't feel the need to seek ambition or adventure.

 Sometimes I encounter people who think I should be seeking ambition or adventure anyway (especially in regards to travelling), because they think I'll later regret not doing it.  Even though I know full well that it would make me unhappy to do so, they seem to think I will look back and regret not doing the thing that will make me unhappy. Which I find absolutely bizarre!

Today my shower gave me an analogy:

Suppose, at some point in your adult life, you find that you're not able to get as much sex as you'd like.

That doesn't mean that you should have gotten in the car with the strange men who were driving by shouting obscene suggestions at you when you were 12 years old.

Even if some of those obscene suggestions ended up being activities you grew into with future partners - and even if, as an adult, you grow to miss them when circumstances aren't aligning to allow you to indulge in them - they weren't right for you back then.  Not at that age, not with those strange men.

And, looking back at it as an adult - even as an undersexed adult - you don't look back and regret not getting in that car with those strange men.  You recognize that it would have made you unhappy at the time, and that the unhappiness would stick with you as a bad memory, not as something your adult self will end up being glad you did.


laura k said...

BOOO on people who tell you to do something you don't care about because you might regret not doing it! Boooooo. Awful.

People suggested to me (often, repeatedly) that I should have children because I might regret not doing so.

YUCK. What a stupid reason to do anything.

Good analogy, too.

laura k said...

I think contentment is the greatest feeling in the world. You're lucky to have it and to recognize it.

I'm fortunate to feel content in many ways. But in some ways my desires have given me nagging discontent.

I wish I didn't have such a great hunger to travel. It causes a lot of problems in my life.

When I was younger I used to say how much simpler and easier my life would be if I didn't want and need to write.

In general my need for variety and a high level of stimulation can be a problem, like an itch that can't be scratched.

Also, don't these people realize that if you don't want to do something, it won't be fun??? Bah.

impudent strumpet said...

Yeah, my need for such a nitpicky standard of housing is similarly problematic. Life would be much easier if I could live happily in a tent or something. But, nevertheless, it does make me extremely happy when I have it and extremely unhappy when I don't. So we can't philosophize or logic ourselves into contentment.

laura k said...

You're right. It comes down to "we want what we want". We can learn how to live with what we can't have, but it doesn't mean we stop wanting it.

#LeastImportantThing: I have no idea why my earlier comment appears with all that extra space.