Saturday, July 24, 2004

I hate this. I'm a shy and nervous person, so I have various nervous tics
when I'm feeling uncomfortable. When I was a child, these tics were rather
unpleasant things, like picking my nose, squeezing my zits, or cracking my
knuckles.. As I got older I realized I couldn't do these things in public,
so I consciously switched to playing with my necklaces. Eventually, all my
necklaces broke. So I made another conscious effort to switch fixing my hair
and touching my neck as though unconsciously scratching an itch. Then I read
an article that said that these are signs of flirting, so I worked
consciously to eliminate them, channelling my nervous energies into
adjusting my clothes.

Now I just read an article that said that signs of flirting are adjusting
your clothes, tossing your head, and making eye contact and looking away. I
now adjust my clothes as a nervous tic, I toss my head to avoid touching my
hair and coming across as flirting, and I make eye contact and look away
because I'm trying not to make eye contact at all so as not to give the
impression that I'm interested! GAH! So now it looks like I'll have to
find another nervous tic, wear my hair pulled tightly back and thoroughly
sprayed at all times so it never requires adjustment, and wear dark
sunglasses everywhere.

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